Insider Struggles

The posts this week on the blog of my friend, Allan Stanglin, are very provocative. They certainly have my interest because they address flaws in ministering to youth. Being a youth minister, I am always looking for thoughts and ideas that will aid me in nurturing tweens and teens as they grow in the Lord. Here is a quote from his post today as to why teens are more and more becoming disenchanted with Christian community:

"Let’s narrow the focus to concentrate today on what I see as the number one problem: bad-mouthing the church in front of our kids.

You want solutions? There are no easy ones. But I think everything, all of this, changes in very positive ways if we’ll just all stop talking negatively about the church in front of our teens.

When the only time our kids ever hear us talking about church is when we’re bashing it, why would we not expect our teens to leave the church and start looking for something else? Our kids aren’t stupid! They can connect the dots. We teach and preach one thing, but they see and experience something different. They read in the Scriptures one thing. But they hear something different. They know we’re called to something more. They’re convinced that God’s church is a loving, united, nurturing community of faith that puts others’ needs ahead of our own. But when they see their parents gripe and complain and threaten to leave if things don’t start going their way; when they hear their parents slam song leaders and song selection and elders’ decisions and Bible class teachers; when they experience the tension in the arguments and the gossip and the backstabbing; how can we blame them for wanting something else? Don’t you think this has a huge impact?

I’ve been very, very disappointed in some of the magazines and websites and blogs out there that angrily tear apart our brothers and sisters in the Lord’s body who don’t believe or practice every single thing the exact same way we do. Labeling preachers as wolves and denouncing entire congregations as heretical based on personal opinions or personal comfort levels is wrong in every way. And damaging. So very damaging. Some friends of mine made a vow almost two years ago to stop reading that stuff. Even if it’s just for information’s sake, for the sake of amusement or entertainment or even curiosity, stop reading it. It’s damaging.

And now I see preachers and teachers on the other side, the ones who’ve been labeled as wolves and heretics, the ones who preach and teach unity and love and fellowship, engaging in the exact same practices. There’s just as much, if not more, hate and anger and selfish enmity and hostility than was in the old school stuff. It’s repulsive. One brother commented on one of these preacher’s blogs recently, in response to a criticism of a Church of Christ program that espoused some fairly rigid views, that “pretty soon they’ll all be dead, including ________, and the problem of traditional Church of Christ’ers will snuff itself out.”

And he mentioned the older preacher by name.

It was as if this brother would personally delight in slashing the throats of all his brothers and sisters who disagreed with him if he thought he could get away with it.

And we don’t see that this kind of thing has a tremendous impact on our kids? That man’s blog is no longer on my list of things to read every week. No way. There’s no place anywhere in our Christian faith for that kind of attitude to be thought, much less articulated in a public forum. I’m embarrassed and ashamed and saddened by the way we treat each other. God, forgive us. Have mercy on us.

It’s not ACU. It’s not youth ministers. It’s not the kids. It’s us. It’s the church. It’s the parents.

Is complaining and griping and ridiculing the church in front of our children the biggest part of the problem? Can it be stopped? Would it matter?"